An Epic Journey

First of all, just in case it is the future - say, ten years from now - and Peter, you are reading this because it is still floating around on the internet.  I want you to stop, turn off the computer and go to bed.  What’s that?  I don’t care if it’s 1:30pm in the afternoon.  Just do it.

For all of you reading this in the present, you will find out soon enough why I don’t want poor future Peter reading on, if he even has the capability to read.

So, last night, I am feeding Peter his bottle.  I was sitting in a folding chair that was pushed up against the wall.  Everything is going fine, he’s eating like a champ and I keep bugging him because that’s what dad’s do.  Anyway, I put the boy on my shoulder to burp him.  I’m patting and patting and nothing happens.  I put him on my knee and bend him forward, pat, pat, pat.  Nothing.  I decide, “I will just put him further back on my shoulder” (to put some pressure on his belly).  Without thinking, I throw the boy back as far as I can, without thinking about repercussions.  All of the sudden I hear a big thud.

Yup, I slammed his poor head into the wall.  I can’t believe it.  In that moment my gut turned and my heart sank.  He took a deep long breath, turned read, and let out a horrible scream.  I of course shoved the bottle back in his mouth and acted like nothing happened.  He seems to be doing fine, but I still feel like a big jerk.

Future Peter, if you are still reading, “I’m sorry”…